Ending A Friendship

Last April, I wrote a post entitled “New Friends and Healthy Relationship Dynamics.” Less than a month later, I wrote a post entitled “When People Show You Who They Are, Believe Them.”

After that second post, I gave one of the women a second chance. That was just over seven months ago. This morning (January 9, 2012), after a particularly unpleasant experience last night, again I decided to end the friendship — for keeps this time.

Amidst all these wonderful feelings of being happy and alive, I finally realized that I will no longer be intimidated or abused by this person. I called a darling friend of mine last night, and asked her if she’d ever had an abusive friend, and she said yes, she had. I mentioned that we sweet types who prefer harmony rather than conflict, often seem to get chosen by uber-alpha friends and they know we aren’t going to fight back, so they take advantage. Well, no longer!

Tomorrow I’ll post the letter I wrote to her, minus the identifying factors. For now, I’m just going to go and enjoy the day, the sunshine, my life.

It’s a combination of things, this new-found happiness I feel: setting a strong positive intention, developing willpower, choosing to think good thoughts as much as possible (sometimes we fail), medication, being kind to one’s self, taking good care of one’s body (healthy diet, enough exercise, proper rest).

Recently I’ve been saying that had I gone on Prozac 22 years ago, my life would have gone soooooo much differently.  But more and more, I don’t bemoan the past.  The present is too good.  So what that I hated the thought of DRUGS to alleviate fear, anxiety and depression?  So what that I was a clean-living, chemical-hating counter-culture person? I had GOD, I didn’t need drugs!!

“So what” that I didn’t give myself that chance all those years ago!  I gave it to myself 8 months ago, and it’s working well!  Upsi wrote something today about that, and I will be curious to see how I feel after 5 years or however long.  I appreciate Upsi’s insights, as always. I just know that right now it’s helping me, and I guess I’m one of the lucky ones since so many people have had trouble with it <(am not including upsi in that statement).  I don’t take much, but it sure has changed my life.

But I’m not discounting my goals, my intention, my attitude and my willpower.  Those things are just as responsible for my current good mental health as the drug is.

Good article: Ending Unhealthy, Codependent Relationships