You will notice that I reversed the usual sequence of these words. I could have said bankruptcy before death. To me that has some significance.
2011 was quite a year for me. I was hospitalized 3 times and had major surgery twice. One of the surgeries was to cure a life-threatening situation, so I had no choice in the matter. A hip replacement can be done without (with difficulty of course) but lungs must be dealt with.
So last year, after 3 hospitalizations and 2 major surgeries inside of five months, I chose bankruptcy (the informal kind) because it was either that or die. In the midst of everything, I didn’t stop to think “hey, do I choose life or bankruptcy?” I just automatically chose life. I have a lot to live for. My kids, my family, my dog, my cat, my wonderful plants (yes, I’m a plant whisperer!) and a whole slew of other reasons.
I love beauty, nature, music, people, and yes… life itself, with all its challenges and craziness. After a lifetime of challenges I’ve chosen to be happy, to see the bright side, to forget about the absolute horror of certain circumstances, and just live.
I haven’t opened the bills. The reality hit me in September. I just wrote to all my medical creditors and basically told them “how am I supposed to pay 20% of all these bills when I’m on Permanent Social Security Disability/Medicare?” I’m sure the 20% total (my share) is more than $60,000. It could even be over $100,000.
So, we’ll see. But I choose life.