Reposted from The Narcissist in your Life, by Linda Martinez-Lewi, PhD:
“This blog post/podcast is dedicated to daughters of narcissistic mothers. I hear from these individuals and the depth of their psychological and emotional suffering is tremendous. For many the chaos, abuse, misunderstandings and psychological battles with the narcissistic mother continue through adulthood. It is important that everyone understand the profound cruelties that narcissistic mothers perpetrate upon their daughters.
I hear a lot of residual guilt in the voices of these daughters. The narcissistic mother continues her imposition of guilt on them. These are pathological projections on the part of the mother. She is ejecting her own self hatred onto her daughter. She is the target of her mother’s venom. These daughter keep trying to make themselves more and more perfect to please mother and be worthy of her love. Narcissistic mothers are incapable of love or mothering. Put the guilt aside; it is not your burden. Lighten your load and loosen the bonds of your narcissistic mothers. There is a deep yearning inside of you to Be Yourself. This is the unique person you are meant to be—loving, creative, spontaneous and yes, joyous.
Some daughters benefit from quality psychotherapy where they are able to sort out, express freely and separate psychologically from their narcissistic mother through this empathic process. Some individuals discover their special gifts and follow “their bliss” to re-create themselves and transform suffering into transformation. Others find that creating a meditation practice or participating in yoga or another healing modality assists them in finally separating from the narcissistic mother and reclaiming their authentic selves. They discover a steadiness inside of them combined with a heart that now feels safe to open and a burgeoning of their creative gifts. They cultivate friendships of trust that allow a deep caring to take place, where trust and openness and authenticity thrive.
You cannot change your narcissistic mother but you can reclaim and be victorious with your own life.”